Each week our team of experienced senior road testers pick out a new model from the world of innovative, premium and performance badges, and put it through its paces.
Heritage
The Mercedes G-class, G-Wagon, or Gelandewagen, is, at 38, one year younger than me. Which, in turn, makes me feel bizarrely old, because that salient little fact makes the G-Wagon the longest-running production car currently still on sale in the UK.
As with all SUVs built decades ago as mini tractors for use by farmers, coffee growers in Africa and the UN, the G-Class is now a metaphor for blinged-up, pumped-up urban life in the ghetto, otherwise known as South Kensington.
However, given the preponderance suddenly of Land Rover Defenders on city streets, the Mercedes G-Class is starting to look like a more desirable, more individual proposition, with creature comforts, mod cons and an exorbitant price tag to match, which really does make it the choice of the rise-again Sloane.
The current model is due for a refresh, which might make prices more appealing soon…
Design
You can love it or hate it (we love it), but you do at least have to appreciate the utter lack of apology in the G-class's styling. Those slab sides, boxy corners and very upright silhouette coach a tall, skinny car straight out of the Seventies, plonked incongruously on Britain’s streets in 2017. Excellent.
Inside, the only disappointment is the lack of a seven-seat option. But you get that same hardcore utilitarian cabin that the Defender has – shallow dash, big grab handle above the glovebox – albeit this one is swathed in leather.
In the centre, you get not one but three buttons for locking the centre transfer case, front and rear axles for off-roading situations – this car’s design just cries out for some difficult, slippery, rocky, steep terrain. Undoubtedly, 99.9 per cent never see a blade of grass.
Performance
We took it upon ourselves to be the 0.1 per cent of customers who take their G-class off-road, in the grass-land mountainous region of Henley-on-Thames. Joking apart, a little off-roading course around the stately grounds of Stonor Park threw up some steep muddy inclines and deep watery bogs. Needless to say, our G-class, the G 350d 4Matic, made mincemeat of it all, sometimes with the centre diff locked and sometimes just by clicking it into second gear with the flappy paddles and letting the knobbly tyres do their stuff.
On road, there’s active cruise control, which comes as a surprise for a vehicle that thrives on its “basic”, traditional appeal. It’s not as refined as, say, a Land Rover Discovery, but this is an entirely different sort of SUV – bonkers. The 3.0-litre V6 engine’s 243bhp is roughly and raucously delivered, but that’s entirely in keeping with the style of this car. The ride is very firm – a downside of stiff springs to counteract body roll.
Passion
The G-Class is a total Marmite car; we say, if you don’t mind Londoners staring at you as you drive down the King’s Road, this is the SUV for you. We loved it, despite the lack of patriotism that favour entails, and, dare we say it, the Defender seems rather too much of an urban cliche these days; the Mercedes is still a relatively scarce sight on Britain’s roads.
You might as well go the whole hog if you’re going to buy one of these, and choose the red leather interior - if you don’t have an intrinsic passion to stand out from the crowd, you won’t be in-market for a G-Wagon anyway.
Price as tested: £104,395
The Goodwood Test
Mercedes-Benz
G-class
